Pooky’s Weekly Round-Up: Issue 152
The move to secondary, demand avoidance, burnout and belonging
This week’s resources cover the move from primary to secondary, demand avoidance, burnout and belonging, with a new book for late-diagnosed ADHD women and a carousel on why apologies can backfire with demand avoidant kids. I hope there’s something helpful here for you – please pass it on.
Neurodivergent children and the move to secondary school [ON-DEMAND CPD] A 45-minute recorded session looking at the move from primary to secondary and at the practical things that help before and after September. It works for primary and secondary staff, and it can be shared with parents too, so everyone supporting a child through the move is thinking along the same lines. I delivered this live recently and it went down really well, so hopefully you’ll find it helpful too. This one’s a paid on-demand session (£20 + VAT for an individual licence, £100 for a school licence), most of what follows is free.
Equipping Neurodivergent Students for Secondary School Life [DOWNLOAD] Three resources for the Year 6 to Year 7 move: a full guide for staff covering the six areas where neurodivergent students most need support, a practical skills checklist to plan your work with a particular student, and a guide written directly to parents and carers. The message running through all three is that these are skills that can be taught and practised, not things children are expected to arrive already knowing. The parent guide stands alone, so pass it on to any family who’d find it useful.
Relationships and Regulation [SLIDES AND NOTES] My slides and notes from a half-day cluster INSET on behaviour and regulation. Two ideas at the heart of it: the invisible backpack, where everything in a child’s day adds weight until what looks like bad behaviour is actually overwhelm, and the CALM framework for the first 60 seconds when behaviour kicks off (Create space, Adjust approach, Lower demands, Meet the need). If you’d like this session or something similar for your INSET or event, drop me a line at pooky@pookyknightsmith.com, or use my materials to run your own.
Burnout Prevention Guide for ND Teens and Adults [DOWNLOAD] A guide for neurodivergent adults who want to understand themselves well enough to slow down before burnout stops them. It starts with a one-page summary for anyone who can’t face the full thing right now, then covers why we miss our own warning signs, how to map your personal signals and recovery triggers, scripts for communicating your needs, and a section for the people supporting you. There’s a proper research section with full references for the geeks among us too (you are my people ;)
Belonging is not a place to escape to [VIDEO] A short video, under a minute, on what comes after safety. We’ve got good at giving neurodivergent children somewhere to escape to and stopped short of giving them somewhere they actually want to be. Safe is the floor, not the ceiling. Worth a few minutes in a staff meeting as we think about transitions between schools and classes for September, and the small, real things that help a child belong.
You Are Not the Problem [BOOK] Liz Lewis’s new book for late-diagnosed ADHD women, and it’s a very good one. It looks honestly at masking, rejection sensitive dysphoria, relationships and motherhood, and the impossible bind that asks women to excel everywhere while appearing effortless, with chapters on pregnancy and parenthood, work and friendships. I think a lot of you will feel deeply seen by it and come away understanding yourselves with a little more comfort and a little less shame. It’s published by JKP, so POOKY20 gets you 20% off at checkout (this is true of all titles).
The PDA apology trap: why sorry can backfire [INSTAGRAM] For a demand avoidant child, “say sorry” is a demand like any other, and demands are the very thing their nervous system is set up to resist. They may want to put things right and simply not be able to reach the words. This carousel is about going first, expecting nothing back, and why that isn’t letting them off: a child who trusts that rupture always gets repaired is far more able, later and in their own time, to think about their part. Accountability grows out of safety.
If you’d like to get in touch, you can email me at pooky@pookyknightsmith.com.
Take care of yourselves and thank you for being brilliant every day (even on the days you don’t feel it..)
Love, Pooky x
P.S. I’m toying with the idea of running a face-to-face book launch for my new book, 10 Steps to a Neurodivergent Friendly Classroom, which comes out in the autumn. I’ve never been to a book launch before, even though I’ve written a dozen books, but I thought it might be nice to host something in a school, maybe even a mini conference type thing. It’s just a seed of an idea at this stage, but what do you think? Would you come? Maybe you’d even be up for hosting? I’d love your honest opinions, ideas or encouragement at pooky@pookyknightsmith.com.
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Pooky Knightsmith, PhD, CPsychol, MA (Oxon)
Autistic Speaker | Author | Advisor | Assessor
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